Question - What do I do if my child says Well Mom that's your problem not mine?
"My daughter asked me to come see her piano recital at school but I had to have a meeting beforehand so it was really tight. So I used your great skill of describing the challenge. The challenge is that at this moment I'm not sure how to get to school this afternoon in time to see your recital. Her reply was Well Mom that's your problem not mine."
At first I thought this really rude.
So what could I reply with what a great question.
And let’s take a look at this.
The first thing that seems to be important is that your daughter feels very strongly about this in the
advanced section of the course.
I share the most important skill.
I believe we need to master the different ways of how to acknowledge emotions.
The skill used in conjunction with any of the other skills in the course just about unlocks any situation.
So we can use the technology and skill first and replied your daughter.
It sounds as if you feel really strongly that I should figure this out by myself.
Her response will probably be yes.
We can also further acknowledge deeper feelings if we wanted to increase the connection.
And it sounds like me being there to watch you is also something you really want and she might reply.
Once we have tapped into what she may be feeling we can then redirect back to the challenge scale to
see if she can also contribute to finding a solution.
Ok I will certainly keep trying to find a solution to that challenge.
And while I think about that do you have any other ideas that might help me to get there in time.
What I’m hoping that you can see from the above situation is the way in which I’m acknowledging your
feelings and without rejecting her comments I am steering her back to being part of a solution and getting
her to also come up with the ideas.
She can’t just sit there and blame me if she feels that she is also responsible for coming up with possible
This technique is what I call adsorb their comments and then redirect them back to what you are wanting
the essence of the technique is to acknowledge what they are feeling and then without judging that feeling.
Redirect them with a question to help solve the initial problem.
I use this technique in nearly all of the problem solving situations I’m in as well as the deeply emotional
I explain this in detail in my course on how to deal with your children’s emotions.